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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in picasso75's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 10th, 2008
4:14 pm
It's been a while....
Wow...It's been a long time since I've posted anything...I guess I don't have much to say. Looking back on my last post...I was laid off from my job about 2 days after that post...Wow, so much has changed, and I feel like such a different person since then. Different = better. I'm contracting right now, which I have a feeling will be temporary. And I have freelance projects coming out of my ears! I think I will need to buy a second laptop pretty soon to keep up with the speed of my projects. (probably a PC) funny in our screwed up economy I am doing better than I have ever done in my life! I'm getting paid loads more than I did in my last job, and the pace is much more manageable. I've experienced a few little corporate "fires" here and it's NOTHING like my last job. Every day at that place was a fire drill. Man, come to think of it, I don't miss it at all. But I do miss the creative buzz and the friendly faces that I came to know and love.

My pace seems much more human now, and actually I think I'm much nicer to everyone..I've made some friends here, but I also have enough confidence in myself that I know I can move on if I need to. My main goal right now is to find a perm. job that I can settle into, because we're planning on conceiving next year sometime...Crazy, I know, but it's very apparent that we're all pretty damned eager about having a baby. Me, hubby, and the little guy, who's now the big guy who is the same height as me, if not taller. 13 going on 21. Yesterday was my b-day, as I'm now 33. It's odd. I feel like every year counts now and I need to begin making more progress faster. Now that my mental/emotional health is in check, I can move on with other areas of my life...Maybe this is why so many jobs are coming to me..It's like I'm finally "unstuck." I feel very sarene, and happy. Kinda like this picture below..Finally, I can actually say that honestly. :D




Current Mood: happy
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
10:34 pm
Odds and Ends, and Oh yeah, maybe a new job!!!
So, I've been bitching and complaining about my boss for some time now...At least to those closest to me..It's been a while since I've posted anything of any sort of relevance. I've been interviewing here and there, (first EA, and now Apple) and I am again, in a holding pattern *sigh* anyone that knows ANYTHING about me knows that patience is not one of my finest virtues..I had a great "screening" session, and then had them roaring about how awesome I was..Yes, thank you, thank you...All in a huff about getting me in on Friday to meet with the whole team, and today, *crickets* - complete, and deafening silence...the funny thing is, I don't really want to work anywhere else other than Apple right now. I am not necessarily in a bad place with work, I just have an annoying boss. Today we had my "Growth plan update" meeting. Before we got too far underway, I took it upon myself to put all the cards on the table and tell him how I really felt.. Man, it felt good to get it off my chest, and I *highly* doubt he saw that coming..I've been taking shit for so long, that I almost forgot I had a voice. Today, it was nice to exercise my once so sharp tongue. I didn't get myself in hot water or anything I just really cleansed myself of negative feelings I've been harboring. So, I feel like, okay, I am in a good place now, Apple can call me, and I will go to them with arms wide open...Except they haven't called, and I am starting to sweat like a hooker in a church...

I haven't blogged in a while, I don't know why really, maybe because by the time I get home, get dinner underway, I want to be about a million miles away from my inbox, for the fear of my clients' needs sucking me back in...Balance...there isn't much with this job, but then again, who really does have it!? I try so hard to maintain it in my life, with the hubby, the little guy, and myself and my own needs, but there is scarcely enough time in the day when all is said and done.

Today, something strange happened. I visited my friends blog, who writes about silly things that I like, like sewing, gardening, crafty-things, and running....(Yes, I know, I am a total old fart now) and for a split second, I missed writing! Like I got jealous all of a sudden cause her blog had this new fancy interface, and looked all current and up-to-date. Here I am deleting my history, cache files, default trillian logs...I don't know what would happen if I was caught updating my blog during business hours..(Heaven forbid) Big brother does actually watch us...Last I heard, they were thinking of implementing, some sort of key-stroke software...I dunno, I am not that technical, but it sounded scarey, and I can swear some of my rights would've been violated...

Tonight, I made chicken enchiladas! YAY me!!! It was a stretch because everything I cook inadvertently ends up tasting suspiciously Italian..So, using the more mexican palette was a nice change. I think for my husband too. However, last weekend, I did manage to crank out two homemade pizzas, dough and all. I thought I was an f-ing rockstar..Well, I was for a few hours at least...I actually love to cook. I just go through sticker shock every time I dust off the ole cookbook and drag my ass to the grocery store. I mean, really? No less than $50 each time I go?! It's almost easier and cheaper to be lazy and eat out more often...

Ahh well. I am going to get myself to bed...The late night ritual begins...

Current Mood: tired
Friday, June 27th, 2008
4:32 pm
Mad World
I don't feel this sad, but strangely, I resonate quite strongly with this song today...

Mad World
by: Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, No tomorrow


And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which I'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad World, Mad World


Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me


And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which I'm dying,
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad World, Mad World

Enlargen your world

Current Mood: contemplative
Thursday, May 15th, 2008
11:17 am
Brain Dump
-I hate my boss today
-I don't really like my job either today
-why is it so friggon hot? Do I need to be worried?
-I hope the little guy remebers to eat lunch today, and stay hydrated
-looks like some financial stability is on it's way (hooray for nonprofit credit counseling!)
-My boss is annoying me today, and doesn't care if I am able to do my job or not
-My pants feel too tight, god they didn't look this bright this morning
-I can't sleep very well in this heat, and the street we live on is very noisy
-We need to get in touch with the roof guy who is MIA
-need to research double pane windows
-if I had more money I'd install AC
-but then again, would make the PG&E bill higher than it already is...
-I thought I wanted a baby, but today I am not so sure I can deal anymore
-Why do we live in such an expensive place?
-I feel like strangling that recruiter that teased me with a job that pays really well
-WTF happened to her?
-WTF happened to that phone interview last week with that other guy from EA?
-I hate it when I get this cranky
-my boss is bugging me
-he's leaving and making the whole team miserable cause he's taking everyone that would be useful -and make my job easier to do my job with him
-was it a mistake to sign up for WWDC?
-will I like having a different place to work for two weeks more than my actual job?
-I am sad I can't go to Napa for the weekend with my friend
-I think I need a vacation from life
-Southbeach diet seems to work the completely opposite way for me these days, makes me go HIGH CARB and HIGH FAT in full force
-When are my weight-lifting sessions going to start showing?
-I don't want to work today.

Current Mood: cranky
Friday, May 2nd, 2008
4:19 pm
My sister
I thought I was over it. I thought I was good. Okay, she's gone, I can get back to my life. But today hasn't quite panned out to be one of those days. Busy, yes. But in the busy chaotic storm that whirls around me, I find myself in the eye of it all. There's an eerie quietness that settles around me, and I find myself struggling once more to bring myself to look at your photo.

Yesterday I thought surely speaking to the little guy would make these emotions quiet down, but they ping-ponged around in my mind, eventually landing hard at the pit of my being. There they settled, wrestling with the thought and the fear of not seeing you again for another year. Hearing how happy he was to talk to me, made it hurt more. Only because I think his little soul misses me too. What are these bear sized feelings I am dealing with here? Is it the lack of a baby in my life? Is it me struggling with my stark circumstances? Is this just life shaking me awake, checking in with me?

I saw photos of your home covered in a delicate white dusting. It was beautiful, I could almost hear the wind in the trees and the relaxing silence around me. If only I could learn to fly, I'd sore across the sea to be near you. I'd travel until my wings froze just to spend some quiet time with you and the baby. I'd be waiting out there until you noticed me on your ledge, singing you a song. But what if I never learn to fly? What if all I ever really achieve is the creation of my vision boards with a cutout collage of what I wish my life were like? Would that make me undeserving of more? People all over the world make plans, all the time, they figure out all the details, but what happens when the plans don't come to fruition, and just gather dust on a shelf?

With a sore back, a hurting heart and the weight of the world on my shoulders, I stare at your picture perfect smile, the intense gaze in your eyes, the fierce grip of motherhood and the beautiful twinkling smile of your baby. I sigh, and I get back to work...

Current Mood: sad
Friday, April 4th, 2008
7:21 pm
Stress Rears its Ugly Head
Driving away from the sandwich shop after lunch, she makes a quick right into the parking lot of 7-11. Slowly making her way down the sweets aisle, she stops in front of the hostess stand. Toying over Twinkies and Ding Dong's she grabs the round plump coconut covered Snowballs. Practically running to the counter, she throws five dollars at the clerk, stuffs her change in her wallet and rips open the package of Snowballs. Sitting in her car she stuffs them into her mouth, ignoring the onlookers, and the strangely loud and thumping mini-van next to her. "Why, did I just do that? I just ate lunch, and what about my Zone Diet, wasn't I going to start that today!?" Forget about The Biggest Loser club at work, she really is a loser...

Sound familiar?

This my friends, is the worst case scenario of stress-eating. In an extremely connected world, it's quite difficult to not let the beastly devil of stress-eating overcome its meagerly angelic counterpart, "discipline." Those of us that juggle multiple tasks and responsibilities know all too well how daunting a stressful schedule can feel to a stress-eater. It's not just a race against time, budgets, calendars, school schedules, deadlines, and forecasted employee growth plans, its much much worse. It's the fact that we, ourselves have become our own worst enemies. So, who can pull us out of this mess? Other than God himself, who has the power to overcome this insanity? Short of disrupting the daily lives of our loved ones with a planned intervention, there is only one person that can tame this beast.

We can! We must.

Just a few days ago, I discovered the hugely extraordinary benefits of yoga. How strange it felt to quiet my body and my mind, all at once. I stretched, pulled, huffed and puffed my way through an hour of gradual limber bliss. I really can't explain what a spiritual effect this had on me. I made a decision that day to watch what went into my mouth, because it really wasn't my body that was hungry it was my soul. Hungry for some quiet, peace, relaxation, and a vacation away from my own life. Until today....

That woman, stuffing Snowballs into her mouth, and (shhhhh) later devouring a small bag of Cheetos? Yes folks, that is me. I let it take over, I gave my power over to the dark side, and let my stress consume me whole. It's a challenge for me everyday. Strangely enough though, every day I wake up optimistic knowing, praying, hoping that I can, and will overcome this animal, this crazed stressed-out aptitude, that I've coined as "stress-eating."

For some people stress is a good thing, it charges them, pushes them to become productive and effective, ok, maybe with just a touch of high blood pressure, but still, there are people that are by nature, truly motivated by stress. They get their cars washed, budget their incomes, double check their kids' math homework, whatever, you get the picture...I am not of that breed.

I eat trashy food, my hair thins, I contemplate the direction of my life at 3am, I dream about work, and actually think that I am working during the early am hours. I fight, ohh the fighting....In a nutshell, I am a mess. HOWEVER, I am resourceful, and I am quite buoyant. Like a rubber bouncy ball, I almost always bounce back with a fresh outlook. I am an optimist by nature. I know I can do this, I know how I look 20 lbs. lighter. I look good, and man do my jeans hang comfortably on my hips.

So here's my goal, I am going to his "publish post" and I am going to fire up itunes, log onto a free RSS feed of the most relaxing yoga class I can find on the internet. Then, I will exhale deeply and preheat the oven, roll up my sleeves and begin preparing the Ahi steaks I so carefully picked out for dinner, and feed my family. I will do these tasks, not from a place of stress and weakness, but from a place of strength and vitality, because I know I can do it, and so can you.

Current Mood: optimistic
Monday, March 31st, 2008
12:57 pm
Please answer this...
What does Joy mean to you?

Current Mood: curious
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
11:11 am
Hope
I am restless today. Yesterday, was a journey into my heart into my soul. Today, I want to explore that, I want to wade in its waters and splash around. I want to evoke that spiritual calling again, awaken it to remember how good it felt to be awake and alive. The slumber approaches as I descend into the world of earning money, a good reputation, rapport and creative story-telling for someone other than myself. It’s almost as if I’ve ingested a tranquilizer and I am nodding off to sleep. The passion for doing a good earnest job is gone. The flame has died, and the embers are but a meager glow in the dark.
Yesterday, with my feet on the pier, the water rushing beneath me, and my heels annoyingly crammed into the cracks of the floor boards, I felt grounded, I felt high. Within the timeframe of an afternoon, I felt like my soul sang, weakly at first, eventually growing into a sweet a capella.
Now, I am left feeling like a bird with it’s wings clipped. I am fluttering around trying to go up up up, but I can’t.
There is a tiny speck of blue that shines from the sky for me. It’s entrapped by clouds but it exists nonetheless. It’s my hope that peeks down to the earth through the overcast horizon. That’s where it soars. Up in the beautiful blue is where it roams, sings, and flies. Hope peeks at me momentarily, glittering and shiny, in the sky far above my outstretched arms that are open and ready.

Current Mood: restless
Friday, February 15th, 2008
1:31 pm
Gratitude Friday
This week, has been interesting. I am learning more and more about myself and my needs with each passing week. However, I wanted to make noticeable mention to the following things that caught my attention this week. I am grateful for:

♥ being healthy, and not so sick anymore
♥ the ability to run and weight train, and somehow power through my workouts
♥ a new blog I discovered on Executive level women (http://www.newsonwomen.com)
♥ my step-son for loving me like a mother
♥ my husband for remembering my favorite restaurant, card and candy on Valentines Day :)
♥ This gorgeous rain-free week we've had!! Hooray for living in CA!!
♥ the glorious feeling of hitting-the-pillow-and-falling-right-to-sleep (a direct result of my workouts I am guessing)
♥ the fact that even though I complain, I still have a job
♥ the drive for wanting to better myself
♥ the feeling of having everything I want from life right now (except for more money)
♥ having worked out everyday this week so far! Yay me!!
♥ having good friends that listen to me complain and still love me
♥ the inspiration to write again

Ahhh..I am sure there are more where these came from, but I'll leave it at that for now. More on my short story in a bit.

Have a great weekend!

Current Mood: grateful
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
3:47 pm
Short Story #1 - When I think of a title I will let you know...
She took a deep breath and headed down the pathway directly in front of her. The bright sunshine beaming rays of light against her back. A warm gentle breeze swept her hair across her face. Pulling strands away from her face, she readjusted her shoulder bag and tossed her belongings onto a sprawling green lawn. Nearby tall trees and freshly manicured fields lining a carefully paved path, sprawled out before her.
She bunched up her bag to use as a pillow and lay down slowly on her back. She gazed at the sky and passing silky clouds. With a dread in her heart she searched the sky for answers. Almost as if she half expected the hand of God to come down and snatch her. She thought to herself,
"What on earth am I going to do!?"
"What's the answer?"
On a nearby road, she heard a distant horn honking. Two cars nearly colliding, and then zooming off at breakneck speed. She lay on the grass with an almost distant detachment. Concerned but more relaxed and at peace than when she'd gotten there. Nature did this to her. It always found a way to quiet her rumbling, yelling thoughts. Inhaling, and deliberately exhaling as slowly as she could she recalled passages and titles of chapters of her self-help book on "Six Figure Women." Some of them, she thought to herself, didn't even have the education she had. Some, didn't even have the know-how of negotiation. Life could've been worse she decided.

Birds flew overhead, high in the sky in a distant looping formation. Almost as if in a game of tag. They flew so high above her, she almost couldn't see them anymore. She squinted and strained her eyes to see where they went. But they were no longer in her line of sight.
Rolling over onto her left side, she propped herself up onto one elbow. She picked a blade of grass and held it close to her eye, so it was almost the only thing she could see. Green. Green everywhere.

-To be continued..
9:04 am
Reviving the Writer in me
Hi,
Just wanted to get a quick show of hands to see who might actually be interested if I started writing short short stories online? I am thinking of picking up the pen again and posting my stories in hopes of someday publishing them...I am not sure what types of stories, for now, they will be fictional, maybe fantasy and possibly sc-fi.

Anyone anyone?

-S

Current Mood: excited
Friday, February 1st, 2008
4:29 pm
Gratitude Friday
I have decided to hork this new tradition from this blog I *LOVE* to visit: http://artsycraftybabe.typepad.com/

Called Gratitude Friday. Every Friday I will attempt to list things that I am grateful for. I think this is a good exercise in seeing the good in my life and to be thankful for all the blessings I have and may sometimes forget to notice.

This week I am grateful for:

♥ my loving husband, who I missed very much this week, while away on business
♥ my sweet step-son that kept him company and on his toes!
♥ my job that keeps my bills paid, no matter how much I complain about my salary
♥ my parents and sister that love me so much they worry when I travel and don't call them
♥ FL and all of it's wonderful seafood
♥ the cool mini alligators in the hotel atrium! How many people can say "I stayed in a hotel with alligators in it!?"
♥ My insurance company that is going to pay for wall damage and roof damage due to all the rain
♥ our sweet boxer, that gives me mopey-lovey eyes every morning. so sweet to be so loved
♥ my pillow and bed
♥ my kitchen and the ability to cook for myself and family
♥ my car. I actually missed driving!
♥ Auggies Piano bar, for keeping me and my co-workers thoroughly entertained after very long nights of working on an event
♥ the sales people we made fun of at Auggies Piano bar
♥ the opportunity to meet and work with the CEO of Citrix
♥ the ability to run 45 min (and counting)now without stopping!!
♥ the chance to see Collective Soul, live! Wow, great performance!!

Wow, I didn't realize how happy I am to be home. Even to a wrecked house with fans in it! (drying the walls and roof from the damage of the rain) Even though it's 4:26 on a Friday and my brain and body are stuck in the EST time zone, so it's really closer to dinner time. I am happy to be back.

Current Mood: grateful
Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
11:47 am
Life
So, I don't have a lot to write about, I just feel that maybe I should update my "blog" on the intricate ongoings of my life. :) Not so intricate these days....

As of late I've been thinking how it would be nice to make more money. So...I am applying for new jobs. This time around, I have grown a little wiser, and know what I want, and exactly how I need to go about it. I am not settling. That's the beauty of a good job, I know my own worth now. I love working here, but the pay, is eh...So..In order to keep up with my ever complicated house matters, I need to land that whale of a job...

Here's what's been going on lately"

- have backed out of wildflower- can't justify the registration fees with all that's been going on
- need a new roof. the leak has been spreading, and now it's almost in two full rooms. Can't bear to say it, but my Dad "told me so"
-I will be heading off to FL for work next week. Kinda looking forward to a break in routine
-Can't bear to think how much I will miss hubby and the tot
-Hate the fact that I will be leaving hubby with a leaky roof!
-have been thinking more seriously about babies, and the financial reprecussion
-Have finally "hooked" up my folks with their very own lil laptop - auction at work!
-am realizing how fragile and delicate life really is. Maybe because Nonna's birthday is tomorrow?

Anyhow. that's about it. Nothing earth-shattering or life-altering to write about. Just the everyday details I call life.

Current Mood: peaceful
Thursday, January 3rd, 2008
9:20 pm
Wildflower 2008 and other ranting...
So in all my mindless body image affliction, I decided that I was going to do wildflower again... Call me crazy but I think there is a strange allure in doing a triathlon. It was exhilarating the first time, but to actually consider myself a triathlete! What a high :) This year I think I am going for the long course, which consists of a 1.5 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride and a 13 mile run. Let's not probe the how or why right now. Let me just bask in the intention.

After much consideration, and regretful peeks at my iphoto library, it has occurred to me that in the past 5 years, I have gained roughly 25 lbs. This to me is disgusting, and very saddening. After having made an amazing transformation in my late twenties (some will say obsessive transformation) I've plummeted downhill like a big pink coconut coated marshmallow snowball. Complacency? Security? Laziness? I don't know. I just know that I am not happy in my own skin. Especially when I see my wedding photos just 12 lbs. ago. Sure you can sneak around the camera, tilt it just right so your extra facial chub doesn't show, but head on...man, I am not looking my finest. The funny thing is. In all my fat loathing, just earlier this month I was asked to model! Can you believe it! I almost laughed myself to death. It was a fun, and very looooooong photo shoot, but it was for work and for a client that needed two models, myself and my co-worker - my male counterpart. I was supposed to see the pics today, but can't bare to look at them. Does this make me crazy? I just can't sit there and glorify something that is so painfully obvious to me..I am overweight!

Anyhow, back to Wildflower. I was rethinking this whole thing and experienced a moment of sheer panic..."Waaah..I didn't want to do it anymore." The registration will set me back $220 which is steep for an event that could kill me. I just joined TRIbe.com which will be the tri group I train with this season instead of Team in Training. Don't get me wrong, TNT was a great experience, fundraising. not so fun....So today, I threw caution to the wind, forked over my $70 and signed up. So back to my moment of *waah, I made a mistake* I get an email from El Presidente of TRIbe himself, assuring me that I will have a "phenomenal" group to train with. Sorta made me think again. Because in these sort of events when you have to dig so deep you almost feel left inside-out. The people you train with make *A WORLD OF A DIFFERENCE* Last year, I got really irritated with the "Sprint distance cry-babies" and left each running meet ready to go postal. After a while of bitching and complaining, I sort of felt indifferent. But c'mon now. You sign up to raise at the very least $2500 and to do a triathlon...There is no room for complaining in my opinion. Of course your holiness wasn't doing so hot during race day either....I wasn't prepared enough, and should've trained harder. But what could I do if all those clicky cry-babies made me crazy?! Train alone of course...Not a good idea.

So TRIbe, is actually very cool because the lady who won Wildflower's Long Course last year (in about half the time everyone else finished) is one of my training coaches!! Yowza's!! Lukcy me, I get an ass-beating on a weekly basis if I am lucky enough!! I am really looking forward to it. I have never really met or trained with a true triathlete of that caliber.
So here I go...Crossing all extremities, holding my breath, clicking my heels, whatever the *F* it takes to get through this. Training begins at the end of Jan. Of course while I will be on a business trip.. oh well. At least I can start now. I will do just that...just as soon as my show is over!!!

Current Mood: uncomfortable
10:54 am
Wildflower Long Course
http://www.tricalifornia.com/index.cfm/Wildflower2008-main.htm




Oh god, strike me now. I am signing up for wildflower again this year.... This time I am doing the long course...Last year, I did the Olympic Course: 1.5 k-swim, 40 k-bike, 10 k-run

Long Course: Saturday, May 3, 2008- 8:00am (1.2 mi-swim, 56 mi-bike, 13.1 mi-run)

Let the training begin...

Current Mood: nervous
Tuesday, December 4th, 2007
3:35 pm
Long meme horked from Shelly-Poo
1. How many keys are on your keychain? 5
2. What curse word do you use the most? Shit or F_ _ K. depends on the severity.
3. Do you own an iPod? Yes, and I don't remember how I ever functioned without one.
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? 6:35
6. Do you wear flip–flops even when it’s cold outside? No, I am sucha wuss.
7. Where do you buy your groceries from? Safeway if I am in close proximity to one.
8. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take the picture.
9. What was the last movie you watched? The Waitress.
10. Do any of your friends have children? Yep.
11. If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you would buy? Payoff my mortgage, our debt, then pay off my parent's debt / mortgage.
12. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Yes.
13. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? I have on occassion...
14. What CD is currently in your CD player? One I made for Michael.
15. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? 1% regular milk.
16. Has anyone told you a secret this week? No.
17. When was the last time someone hit on you? about a month ago.
18. What did you have for dinner? Indian food w/ very few carbs.
19. Do you wear hoodies often? eh, sometimes...
20. Can you whistle? Yes, but it irritates me.
21. Have you ever participated in a protest? I don't think so.
22. Who was the last person to call you? My sister.
23. What is your favorite ride at an amusement park? I used to love the Demon. But now, I am too old and get too sick for them.
24. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Unfortunately...yes.
25. What area code are you in right now? 650
26. Did you watch cartoons as a child? Yes, still do
27. How big is your local mall? Too friggon large to visit.
28. How many siblings do you have? One
29. Are you shy around the opposite sex? not at all.
30. What is your biggest regret? Not having played sports in school.
31. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt? a few weeks ago,
32. What movie do you know every line to? All of Me w/ Steve Martin.
33. Do you own any band t–shirts? No. I don't really care about that sort of stuff anymore.
34. When was your last plane ride? mid July.
35. How many chairs are at your dining room table? 4
36. Do you read for fun? Yes but since JK Rowling is being lame, I haven't read much.
37. Can you speak any languages other than English? Yes. I can speak Italian and some Spanish. I started picking up a bit of French too.
38. Do you do your own dishes? Yes. most of the time.
39. What color is your bedroom painted? a very light shade of sand. (almost white)
40. Have you ever cried in public? too many times.
41. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? laptop
42. Which do you make, wishes or plans? Mostly wishes these days...
43. Are you always trying to learn new things? Not proactively.
44. Do you shower on a daily basis? yes, sometimes 2x's per day.
45. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? No
46. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date? Yes, if he's interested.
47. Can you skip rocks? No, they always sink.
48. Have you ever been to Jamaica? Nope.
49. What to snack on at the movie theaters? I don't normally I just have coffee, so I don't fall asleep.
50. Who was your favorite teacher? Mr. Miller (Chemistry teacher) who I had THE BIGGEST crush on.
51. Have you ever dated someone out of your race? Yes.
52. What is the weather like? cold / rainy and cloudy
53. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? I have.
54. Do you have an online journal? duh..
55. What was your favorite class in high school? Ceramics or jewelry making.
56. Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes? I used to, now I am much more jittery.
57. What personality trait is a must–have in your preferred gender? Thoughtfulness
58. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive? Yes.
59. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Jeez, maybe like 20 years ago.
61. Does your closest Starbucks have a drive–thru? No.
62. Do you like your living arrangement? yes.
63. What is your mother’s hometown? Italy.
64. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 6-8. 10 if I am depressed.
65. Do you eat breakfast daily? yep.
67. Are your days full and fast–paced? usually, at least they have been lately.
68. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class? yes, all the time.
69. What is your favorite fruit? watermelon or strawberries.
70. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? too often.
71. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 33
72. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? yes
73. Do you believe in life on other planets? Not sure.
74. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes.
75. Who was the last person to piss you off? My husband.
76. Do you believe that God has a gender? No.
77. What was the last thing you ate? Peanuts
78. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? normally.
79. What did you dress up as for your first Halloween? Strawberry Shortcake.
80. How did your parents pick your name? I was supposed to be "Brian" and I came out a girl, so for a while I didn't have a name. My dad used to love watching Heart to Hart, so they named me after Stephanie Powers.
81. Do you like mustard? Love it.
82. What do you tell yourself when times get hard? Not again...
83. Would you ever sky dive? Not anymore.
84. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? Lately it's been on my back, then I wake up with my arms numb.
85. What character from a movie most reminds you of yourself? I don't have one.
86. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Yes.
87. Do you enjoy giving hugs? YES!
88. Would you consider yourself to be fashionable? Yes
89. Do you own a digital camera? Yes.
90. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Flattered, and then I'd flash them my wedding ring.
91. What celebrities have you been compared to? Lynda Carter.
92. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? Hansolo - totally hot.
93. Does it annoy you when someone says they’ll call but never do? sometimes, depends if I am waiting around for their call.
95. Do you think you’re attractive? On most days...
96. What are you allergic to? Lots of meds, and some foods now too. like peanuts...doh.
97. Are you a jealous person? yes, too jealous for my own good.
98. What’s your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? Not a huge fan.
99. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat? I used to. Now I've just resigned to being a carnivore. If I had to kill it myself I'd be a vegitarian.
100. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been? Brian, according to my Dad.
101. Is it lunch time yet? No, well past.

Current Mood: bored
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
11:28 am
Some stuff that's been bugging me


-My chronic bad mood, i.e. PMS syndrome but for the whole month...
-adjusting to paying mortgage, and getting used to being poor
-my back, for some reason my matress and I have had an ongoing dispute for days
-dealing with my OCD workout sessions
-those jeans / pants in the "back" of the closet that haunt me (back in the days of size 1)
-the fat close that I have to wear instead (and not just during "the bloated week, but all month long")
-the Thanksgiving food that just won't go away
-the pies that are starting to mold because I refuse to eat them
-the bathrooms that I have been ignoring and need to clean
-the laundry pile that puts any garbage dump site to shame
-the fact that I busted my "good" straightening iron in England and now have a crappy one that doesn't work so well
-not having enough $$ to buy another "good" straightening iron
-The county assesors office for "informing" me about a supplemental tax bill heading our way in addition to our ridiculously high property tax bill
-the fact that I bite my hubby's head off for breathing too loudly around me
-my jealousy
-the pending "annual review" at work, that may or may not result in a pay hike....
-the stupid ex-wife that doesn't have a car.

Okay, I think that's enough bitching for now.

Current Mood: irritated
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
10:09 am
32
32 - the age that I turned on 10/9
32 - things that I have to do before I leave the old house
32 - things I need to do before I get to the new house
32- things I should do when I arrive at the new house
32- things we will be gluing, cutting, stapling in place for the tot's castle project that is due tomorrow
32 - open projects here at work that I need to straighten out the budget on
32 - (times 4) pictures that I need to upload before my camera requires an exorcism
32 times I have emailed thank you's to all of the people involved in the purchase of our first home
32 - times I have called my Dad asking to borrow ladders, painting equipt.
32 - times I have had to step away from the computer because of chest pains
32 - times I have looked at running shoes in agony
32-28 was the day in Nov. that I was supposed to run my half marathon...which won't be happening due to "the move"
32-29 - is the number of baby showers I have been to this month alone (two of which were on the same day)
32 x 3 - is how old I actually feel.
32 - dollars is about how much money I have right now.
32 - years is when I expect to be done paying for this townhouse.

Current Mood: blah
Monday, October 8th, 2007
11:30 am
Missing Harry Potter
So, call me a nerd, but I am just one of these people that looooooves to curl up with a book and disappear for a few days, or weeks, or months....

I finally finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and I must say, I am so sad that this is JK Rowling's last book...It took me months to get through it for very obvious reasons, but I couldn't put it down this past week or so..I think it was a nice distraction from what is currently my very chaotic life.

It's so strange, and I never thought I'd say this, but I actually miss reading the story, and I really miss the characters. Is it possible that I actually got attached to them!? I think I put off finishing it because I didn't want it to end...I love everything about the series, the witches, wizards, the magic, the endless spells, and the chance to escape everyday life and enter a magical world where the sky is the limit...

Ho hum...I guess I could find another book to delve into, but I am not ready I think....

Current Mood: sad
Monday, September 24th, 2007
4:12 pm
House / Move update


So, as many of you might already know, hubby and I are in the process of buying our first home...This has accompanied much strife, worry, utter fear, and procrastination...Let me explain why...

A few weeks ago (the last day I actually got to enjoy a carefree run) we discovered a white letter taped to our front door from our friendly neighborhood management company...(not) We learned (shockingly) that we were being evicted. After 5 years or so of living in this same duplex (with little or no notice) we have learned that the little old lady who owns our complex takes walks in our neighborhood, and has taken to nosily looking over our fence. Turns out the ole bag is deathly afraid of dogs. Especially cute and adorable boxers who bark in territorial disdain. She requested a walk-through, which turned up pretty damn clean. Other than the fact that we have a dog, whom we've paid extra for for the past 5 years, and has been written into our lease....She has demanded that we move out. She feels that we're a "liability to her" (HUH!?)...fuckit. I didn't have enough energy to smack her over the head with my great big legal wooden spoon. Especially since we've been secretively making offers left and right..Plainly put, we didn't care enough to take this matter to court..

2 weeks later. We make an offer, and then a counter offer. And BAM!!! We're in escrow. Well, at least we thought...Our broker, is doing I-don't-know-what with the friggon bank. And now it looks like instead of 10/17 we won't be able to close until 10/31...Great, just f-ing fabulous. Not only is it my fav holiday, but we HAVE to move out by 11/18 NO MATTER WHAT...which leaves us with the possibility of owing a half-months rent, having to rush around like a bunch of idots, scrambling around...because...well, I don't know...Someone needs a fire lit under them, and I swear it will be me with my hand on the zippo.

Then the selling realtor, just "happens" to mention that the structural integrity of the garage "May" be compromised because the original owners modified it to fit their van...WTF!? And she needs us to review the reports and approve ASAP..WTF!!!!!!!!!!??????????? So my Dad (mr-fix-it-contractor-extraordinare) is going to have a look at it and let me know how many heads I will need to sever.

Doesn't help much that last week I got a cold from hell, and have amusingly run out of sick days...Today I am feeling better. Thank God I went running at lunch, or else I might have to just take a breather and ram my car into some poor unassuming parked car. In some random unassuming parking lot....

The woes of *almost* owning a house....

Current Mood: bitchy
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